不得不说。                                                                        她是一个很讲信用的女人。                                                                        值得称赞的是                                                                        她没把我打死。                                                                        陈瑾萱，英文名，dbr。                                                                        她老爸是和我老爸的同事，以前住在英国。因为家里的缘故，现在搬来国内和我们住。在回来的路上碰到了个变态，把她裤子撕破了，然后跑来我家换了个裙子，听说是见个纯洁的大帅哥，结果碰到脱裤子的变态。                                                                        嘛。                                                                        这是她刚才的讲解。                                                                        是的。                                                                        现在我们三人除了我鼻青脸肿软倒在沙发上，那两妞都很兴奋的讲着。                                                                        不过。                                                                        我觉得不对劲啊。                                                                        我是家里的唯一男子汉，怎么能屈服在她的胯下？这妞一来就想掠夺我的霸主之位？                                                                        “砰！”                                                                        我狠狠的一巴掌拍在了桌子上。                                                                        我草！                                                                        手好痛！                                                                        “欧尼酱，咋啦？”我妹见我这幅动作，也是一愣。                                                                        “逗逼萱！”我冷冷的看着陈瑾萱。                                                                        “你喊我什么？”她眼神一沉，吓得我一抖。                                                                        “你英文名不是叫dbr吗？有d和b，刚好组合逗逼，叫逗逼貌似也觉得挺不尊重你的，不如叫逗逼萱好了！”我一脸认真的道。                                                                        “你在侮辱我？”这妞眉头一皱，不过旋即似乎发现自己的语法错误，加了两个字“的智商！”                                                                        唔。                                                                        我错了                                                                        是三个字。                                                                        “咳咳！”我一摆手，示意这不是很重要，转成了一脸认真的道“既然来我家了，你必须遵守我的家规。我现在是家主，你到这是吃我的，住我的，用我的，即便是个长的凑合的女人，但也要签下同居合约！”                                                                        得。                                                                        我看她眼皮跳了跳，有点想发怒的冲动。                                                                        是因为我说她长的凑合的缘故吗？                                                                        “你说！”                                                                        她忍住了脾气，对我微笑。                                                                        “很好！”                                                                        我点了点头，她的配合我很满意。                                                                        “第一，不准打我！”                                                                        “没问题！”                                                                        “第二，我可以打你”                                                                        “你行，如果我犯错的话”她强笑。                                                                        但                                                                        我怎么感觉是她在说如果我打的过的话                                                                        “第三，我睡觉不准打搅！”                                                                        “第四，一三五你煮饭，二四六我妹煮，周末嗯，出去吃！”                                                                        她嘴角一抽。                                                                        僵硬的点头“继续！”                                                                        我挺开心她这么听话。                                                                        接着道“第五，家里的衣服你洗！”                                                                        “第六，家里的卫生你干！”                                                                        “第七，家里的菜你买，快递你收，报纸你拿，早餐你订，浴室水你放！”                                                                        她脸色已经慢慢转变成了铁青了。                                                                        她握紧了拳头。                                                                        “你接着说”                                                                        我还接着说？                                                                        这女人原来这么好说话啊！                                                                        我本来以为她接受不了了就一次性说出这些觉得够了呢既然如此，我再加一条？毕竟我妹平时伺候我这么辛苦，多了个佣人帮她也不错啊！                                                                        可突然！                                                                        “叮系统提示：玩家接受日常任务三次，额外奖励一点经验值！”                                                                        “叮系统提示；玩家升级，战斗力+1，开启商城菜单，开启任务查询，开启宠物系统！”                                                                        “叮系统提示：玩家升级查询自动解析，今日玩家领取的日常任务为‘不要脸’级别。”                                                                        “叮日常任务启动，请玩家在一分钟内回答面前女孩第八条：陪我睡觉，陪我洗澡，帮我打飞机！任务失败玩家将会遭到陈瑾萱一顿暴打！”                                                                        突然。                                                                        脑子响了四下。                                                                        升级？商城？宠物系统？任务？                                                                        不要脸级别！？                                                                        我我草！                                                                        我他妈的现在是在玩游戏？                                                                        好了。                                                                        现在这些我暂时没法去想去看了，一分钟内回答，否则遭到暴打                                                                        啧啧                                                                        暴打？                                                                        狗日的我再被打一顿还能残血存活吗？估计血槽都要被打空成负了！                                                                        狗屎的系统，我草你大爷，出的这是什么坑人任务！                                                                        “第八条，陪我睡觉，陪我洗澡，帮帮我打灰机！”我不敢多犹豫连忙回答，但我是机智的，连忙就是在那女人脸色来不及变化之前就是道“哈哈，我开玩笑的”                                                                        我肯定不是傻子！                                                                        我要是不加这句，我下场绝对是被打死！                                                                        “叮任务失败，玩家将接受惩罚！”                                                                        我勒个去。                                                                        任务失败！？                                                                        我*￥#&p;，老子哪里失败了！？                                                                        不过。                                                                        这系统仿佛懂我内心一般，解释了“玩家回答错误。是打飞机，不是打灰机！”                                                                        我                                                                        我他妈能吐槽吗？                                                                        不过                                                                        我哭不出来了。                                                                        爆打一顿？                                                                        林瑶那妞在那是瞪大眼睛，露出不可思议和不愧是我哥的那种同类禽兽般的表情看着我。                                                                        是的。                                                                        我虽然**丝，但我真的不是个色鬼。                                                                        我若是个色鬼，林瑶那小妞一天到晚扭着屁股穿着小裤衩在我面前乱晃我会放过她吗？怎么可能！                                                                        我想，我今天的表现是颠覆了我自己在她内心那三好哥哥的形象了！                                                                        但现在她不是重点。                                                                        重点是逗逼萱眼睛已经绿了。                                                                        她浑身散发出一股强大的王八之气，惊得我头皮都跳了起来，仿佛没有听到我说开玩笑的那句话！                                                                        “打飞机？”                                                                        她站了起来，脸色青红交接，接着一拳狠狠对着我的脸蛋砸了过去。                                                                        “果然是变态！”                                                                        她又是两脚！                                                                        “不平等条约？陪你睡觉？给你做饭？给你当保姆？卫生我干菜我买地我扫？”她怒着抽我边狂叫“我去你大爷的，敢指挥老娘？”                                                                        之后                                                                        没有之后了！                                                                        她是个守信的人，记得那句不会把我打死。我现在是被林瑶那小妮子可怜兮兮的抱回了床上，她在我额头亲了一下“欧尼酱，乖，以后少犯贱好好休息，明天还是还是一块好打的料”                                                                        她很没良心的走了！                                                                        我落泪了。                                                                        内流满面啊！                                                                        这丫肯定不是我亲妹虽然真的的确不是我亲妹！                                                                        不过                                                                        也是！                                                                        在别人面前，谁都认为我这是脑残犯贱加找抽！                                                                        是个正常人会像我这样的吗？                                                                        我他妈的哪里正常了                                                                        但怎么说                                                                        那女的这么狠，我老爸把她放在自个家，不怕他的宝贝儿子有天死在那个暴力女手上吗？                                                                        错都错在这个系统                                                                        本来纯洁帅气，在所有人面前走着白马王子路线的我全部被毁了                                                                        咦。                                                                        等等。                                                                        不是系统的错是那个老头子的错！                                                                        老子真的给了他五块钱，他拍了我手一下喊了一句交易成功之后那老头子就隐身消失了，出现的就脑海里那玩意                                                                        我悔啊！                                                                        老子那时候学什么救助老头送钱啊                                                                        这个事实告诫了我，以后千万不能做好人！                                                                        “世界没卖后悔药！”                                                                        我叹了口气，躺在床上也是不语，打量起了脑袋突然出现的那个升级以及系统改变。                                                                        角色资料                                                                        “玩家：林怀银。”                                                                        “编号：11515。”                                                                        “性别：男！”                                                                        “等级：1。（距离2级差5点经验）”                                                                        “战斗力：2！”                                                                        “宠物：暂未领取！”                                                                        看到这个，我顿时傻眼了。                                                                        我他妈真的成为游戏玩家了？                                                                        人家电视剧经常演的，主角牛b轰轰的得到异能，成为牛叉人物然后纵横世界抱的美人归                                                                        可。                                                                        奇怪。                                                                        我这坑爹的东西能让我抱的美人归吗？                                                                        我草！                                                                        女人不被我吓跑都不错了！                                                                        虽然很好奇这东西，但我还是继续点了下去。                                                                        是的。                                                                        宠物系统。                                                                        因为在角色资料上看到了宠物，而这边又刚出了宠物系统。                                                                        不过刚点进去                                                                        “叮系统提示：玩家第一次进入宠物系统，拥有一次选择宠物和拥有宠物的机会！”                                                                        好了。                                                                        这时候突然蹦跶出一条提示。                                                                        厄。                                                                        我本来认为是免费的，难不成只有第一次免费？                                                                        算了，无所谓，也没多想，便看了下去。                                                                        宠物列表！                                                                        男！女！                                                                        我一愣。                                                                        是宠物怎么不是雄性和雌性？                                                                        虽然好奇。                                                                        但我是个正常男人，自然是选择男的，好吧，开玩笑的，肯定是选择妹纸一族。。                                                                        “兽族，人族，精灵族！”                                                                        出现在我面前的是三个种族！                                                                        我这人口味比较特殊，对，没错，就是特殊！                                                                        “兽族！”                                                                        我贱笑着点了下去！